The Power of Language
Language has been used against me and I’ve let it control my life for far too long. I finally decided one day that I would no longer let language control me.
On a previous project team I was on, I explicitly remember an incident where my entire team got behind the idea that I was a robot. We all know this is obviously not true, right?
But anything I said, they would turn around and say “Is that what a robot would say?” Anything that I said they would use as ammunition to their arsenal of a joke. I’m not a robot. I have feelings! I am quite honestly the polar OPPOSITE of a robot!
But nobody would listen to me. Nobody would take my viewpoint into consideration and everybody believed the truth that I was in fact a robot.
I felt absolutely powerless in this situation. No matter what I said, nobody would listen.
And then, this triggered memories of being verbally bullied in elementary school.
Throughout different experiences with groups of friends, this would be a recurring theme in my life. I would become the butt of everybody’s joke. And everybody did it and everybody thought it was okay because I wouldn’t fight or get angry, or me defending myself was funny or just made it that much better. I would be too nice to say anything to the people saying this.
It feels like an inundating experience. It’s like you’re drowning and nothing you do can save you, and the more you say to defend yourself, the more it adds to the fire.
But then I decided that language would no longer control me.
I realized that words that other people say have no effect on my self-worth.
I realized that I can create my own worth by declaring who/what/how I am.
The language of others would no longer control my life, but now instead my own words and actions would control my life.
I can declare that I am a smart, sexy, capable professional. I can choose how I see myself and that, in consequence, affects my demeanor. I will walk around tall, confident, knowing that everything I do I stand on ground of honest integrity, knowing that anything someone else says to try and put me down CANNOT put me down.
I make mistakes, I’m only human.
But I do my best to learn from those mistakes and improve with all my relationships going forward. I put in the work to try and be the best person I can to everybody I come in contact with.
Now, when someone approaches me with language that can be triggering to me, I choose to not engage.
Choosing to actively NOT engage is one of the most powerful things I can do. The person’s words have no power over me because I do not feed in to the language, and the most important thing is that
I know where I stand.
I know who I am, and somebody else’s words won’t affect me.
I know my self-worth, and somebody else’s words won’t change that.
Somebody else’s words cannot change how I feel about myself because I know who I am and I know that I am trying my best.
I hope this message helps someone power through anything they might be going through, and to know that you’re a fucking badass.
-JV 8/26/2019
