The University of Michigan — Class of 2013
On Mentorship and Humility
Spring, 2009 — I was so ecstatic to have received my acceptance letter to the University of Michigan. A Big Ten school, top rated academic programs, and just far away enough from home to feel the sense of liberty the 18-year-old-only-child in me craved. My parents and I had just embarked on our first visit to the campus — only to return somber and deflated. We spoke with the financial aid department at Michigan and learned that tuition with room & board for the first year alone would cost over fifty thousand dollars.
When we were first presented with this information, I was in disbelief. “That’s more money than I’ve ever even thought of having, let alone pay every year for school.” Although financial aid could cover half the cost of out-of-state attendance, we were still left with over twenty thousand dollars unaccounted for. On the long, quiet four-hour car ride back to Chicago, our reality started to sink in. The lack of funds to even consider calling Ann Arbor my home was starting to hit me and came through as tears in my eyes.
Father Cima, a family friend from St. Michael’s Parish where my family has attended mass since I can remember, asked me about my trip. Feeling the shame of being unable to pay tuition seep through me, I recounted the details I could remember.
“It’s a good school. I love the campus, but I don’t think it’s for me. Financial aid is willing to help us cover some of the cost, but we just can’t afford to take on the rest of the cost. I think I’ll look at other options.”
He quickly understood the severity of my situation. At this point, I was ready to give up. I had convinced myself to accept things as they are, that I would never afford something like this, and that I should shoot for more realistic goals. He offered to analyze how we could tackle this and make it manageable. Disheartened, this wasn’t one of my first priorities and thought it would just be a waste of time. Reluctantly, I agreed and we grabbed a couple of chairs, table, some scratch paper and pencil, and he started to draw out some figures.
“So here’s how much the Michigan grant will cover, and here’s your Pell Grant,” Father Cima wrote, chipping away at the grand total at the top, “we can take out a small loan. Don’t be afraid of debt Jorge, almost everyone has it,” he calmly reassured me, “and the Peace & Education Coalition scholarship you applied to!” he eagerly reminded me while jotting down more estimates. My tears subdued and were replaced with shy laughter. “How’s that look? A lot better, right?” and it did. Our out-of-pocket cost would still hurt, but nowhere near the insurmountable amount we had initially imagined.
I brought this piece of scratch paper to my dad, and realized I was asking a lot from him. I was asking him to commit to this journey of adulthood, four or more years away from home, and the student debt that would ensue. He looked at me straight in the eyes and asked me, looking for an honest response,
“¿De veras quieres irte a Michigan?”
I took a second to think then reassuringly nodded my head yes, dad, I really want to attend Michigan.
I realize that I’m lucky. I’m lucky to have a father who worked tirelessly at a meatpacking company to see his son finish college, and who trusted me to stay committed and finish. I’m lucky to have a reverend who supported my family and wanted to see me succeed while things looked bleak. Nobody in my family had experience with applying to college or student loans. Father Cima offered help in a situation where he knew we needed a fresh perspective, and I am forever grateful.
Many of us have people in our lives we take for granted. Many of us are too proud to ask for help, thinking it as a sign of weakness. Yes, it is a sign of weakness, but it is also a sign of humility, trust, and a willingness to grow.
If I ask you a question, I am humbling myself and acknowledging that I don’t know everything. I trust you to guide me, teach me, or show me the right way. I commit to take your feedback and apply it in my life, taking it as an opportunity to grow as a person. I’m lucky to have naturally attained mentors in my life, but these don’t need to be such seldom and rare occasions. When you make yourself vulnerable to others and expose your weakness, that’s the best opportunity for you to learn.
Make yourself vulnerable to those you trust — they can assist you, directly or indirectly, to unlock opportunities you never knew were possible. You can then take their feedback and act on it with your best judgement.
With a little help from my friends, what seemed daunting at first was made manageable and realistic. I still count my blessings and reflect on the impact that pivotal day had on me. Now, in 2016, two years after graduation, what seemed unattainable is now a Computational Informatics diploma prominently hanging in my parents’ living room.
-JV 06/09/2016
